This book helped me become a happier person

Summary by Krater

The creator discusses seven personal problems before reading The Courage to Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, and how Adlerian psychology helped him overcome them.

From the video

Answers: How can Adlerian psychology help overcome self-doubt and the need for approval?

• Adlerian psychology
• Self-doubt
• Comparison
• Relationships
• Self-development
• Trauma
• Perfectionism
• Approval-seeking

What it concludes

• We constantly compare ourselves to others because we place ourselves in vertical relationships, which is the root cause of anxiety, isolation, and feelings of unworthiness; moving to horizontal relationships eliminates the game of winners and losers.
• We are too hard on ourselves by believing only naturally talented, intelligent, or charismatic people succeed, leading to internal self-doubt; the important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.
• We obsess about the future and live for milestones, which creates pressure; the solution is to live fully in the here and now, as life is a collection of present moments rather than a grand trajectory.
• We let self-doubt stop us from growing due to inferiority complexes and superiority complexes; we should use feelings of inferiority as fuel for growth rather than comparison.
• We try to control other people and seek approval because we fear criticism; the solution is the separation of tasks, where our task is to live in alignment with our own values, not to make everyone happy.
• We let the past define us through cause-and-effect thinking, but Adler argued that trauma does not exist; it is not what happened that shapes us, but how we choose to interpret it and set goals in the present.